There are some horsey ladies who ride up and down our lane. Nothing wrong with that. The thing is, they all wear these high visibility bright yellow vests with "Polite Notice, please drive slowly" written on the back. Now, at first glance, it looks like "Police Notice". Okay..with me so far? On their riding hats, they also have this blue and white checked tape. They actually look like police people on horseback. Why would you want to look like a police officer unless you are on some kind of power trip, or maybe you are just a bossy old moo and want to frighten people in their cars? The next time I drive past them, I might just drive fast and see if they chase me. Do you dare me?
One of the horsey ladies once accused poor old Mr Forrester (80) of racing down the lane at break-neck speed in his car and trying to kill her entire family, who were walking down the lane. Now, I find this very hard to believe because in all the years I have lived in this village, I have only ever seen Mr F driving at about 15 miles an hour. Mrs Angry even called the police and reported him. The poor old soul was really shaken up by it all but thankfully she was told to stop wasting police time. Phew! I had visions of having to make him a cake with a saw hidden in the middle to take to him in prison so that he could make his escape.
.....And another thing, why is it that the horses always want to poo right outside the entrance to our drive? It's just not funny, you know, especially if Roberto has just cleaned his car (it's his pride and joy). In fact, when he has cleaned his car, he is very reluctant to let me go out in it and likes to keep it in the garage until the rain stops. I know, girls, it's a man thing! Funnily enough, I always thought cars were self-cleaning.