Glasgow People

 

My lovely nephew, Jimmy Jazz  (age 12) told his mum a funny story the other day.  He was coming home from school on the train as usual with the hundreds of other pupils from his school.  A little old lady came on and was trying to squeeze past all the kids.  She kept saying politely, "Excuse me, boys...excuse me, boys", but being typical teenagers, they weren't budging.  Finally, she got a bit exasperated and shouted, "Would you wee b***ds move out of the f*** way!"  I just love Glasgow people. 

 

 

More updates later, mes amis.

 

 

 

 

Kaledo Jewellery on Etsy

Just a little boost for my sister, Kathryn.  She has started an Esty store selling her beautiful hand-made jewellery.  Have a look when you have time.  It's called Kaledo.  She also does a blog, if you are interested under this link. 

On Missing Doctor Who

I must apologise for neglecting you mes amis.  Now that the Olympics is over and we have all been 'inspired',  normal service has now been resumed in the UK.

Okay, I admit it, I get glazed over when Roberto spouts forth about the inner workings of our solar panel (when the sun shines, it heats our water, as does our wood burning stove in the winter).  However, I am very pleased to announce that it has actually saved us around £250 on our fuel bill to date and we haven't had it for a full year...so RESULT! 

 

We were invited to an evening wedding reception at the weekend.  It was held in a big old pub in a large village not far from us.  The village is a bit "footballers' wives".  The wedding reception wasn't.  Apart from the friends we went with, we hardly knew anybody there.  It was hot in the function room, nobody was dancing, apart from some little teenybopper girls and the music was so loud we couldn't hear what anyone was saying.  I knew one of the bridesmaids, who pootled over so see us in her sparkly flip flops.  Her hair was cut in a bob style and she was wearing a tiara and not a scrap of make-up.  Roberto didn't realise she was a bridesmaid and thought the party was a fancy dress and she had come as Cleopatra.  He said to our friend Brian "Looks like you've pulled, mate".  Brian said "where's the f**** fire exit?"

 

The buffet...well what can I say?  Platters of fat chips and egg sandwiches.  Roberto and Brian went to get some more drinks.  They must have been gone for about 10 minutes.  When they returned, the buffet had been demolished...just a few sad fat chips left lying on the table cloth. 

 

...and to think, I missed Doctor Who for this!!

 

Anyway, we managed to escape fairly quickly.  I don't think anyone noticed. 

Post Olympic Musings

So the ancient games are over and our heros can be proud of themselves for collecting so many gold medals, including Pegasus the wonder horse, who won a gold medal for horse dancing.  Apollo and Achilles are having a drink in the local taverna....

Achilles:  "So what we do now, Apollo?  Olympics is finished.  Some numpty in the archery contest busted my ankle with stray arrow.  Bloody foreigners!

Apollo:  We could hop over to beach and watch Poseiden practising synchronised swimming with the beach volley ball girls...the lucky b****do!

Achilles: Nah, he is big show off.  The girls won't look at us if he is there.  Anyway, thought it was wine o'clock?  Service very slow in this taverna. 

Apollo:  Hey, Dionysus, another large jug of wine over here, there's a good lad. 

Dionysus: What your last slave die of?

Apollo:  Single sword wound to chest, actually.

Dionysus: Okay, one jug of Ouzo coming up.

Achilles:  Fancy going for a kebab after this, Apollo?

Apollo: That sounds like just the job.  A perfect end to a perfect Olympic games.

A Little Olympic Musing

I know I said previously that the Printemps household would be an Olympic free zone, but I just happened to switch on the TV the other night and the men's shot put was on.  Several minutes later and I discovered that it was actually the women's shot put.  I thought that big lass from Bellarusse was a big bloke.  She flung that big heavy ball so far that it almost beheaded several spectators in the back row.  A whole section of spectators actually ran for the hills on her second attempt. 

And what about the women's judo?  I thought it was Sumo wrestling!  Honestly, how can you be fit when you weigh 20 stones? 

So how are you enjoying the Olympics, mes amis?  I'm not really into it in a big way but I'm glad to see the Brits have won so many gold medals.  Oh, and I do like the horse dancing. 

As for the badminton, what a scream!  Two teams trying their best to lose the game and playing like great big jessies.  What was that all about?    I'm sure it wasn't like that in Ancient Greece... 

"Hey, Achilles, stop messing about and play like a man."
"What you mean, Artemis?   This bloody game for women anyway.  I go watch the girls playing beach volley ball.  Have you seen Athena in a bikini?"

Have a good day, mes amis.  I'm just off to practise my shot put in the back garden. 

On Henpecked Husbands

There was a funny doinking noise all day yesterday and we discovered later on that it was a neighbour doinking his fenceposts with a fencepost doinker.  We think that 'She-who-must-be-obeyed' (i.e. Mrs Angry - see previous post) made her husband doink the fenceposts all day as a form of punishment for something.  Maybe he didn't finish his household chores or forgot to do the ironing, feed the chickens, clean behind the fridge, kick the cat, or whatever.  We could picture the scene:- "Get out there and doink those fenceposts and don't come back in until 5pm...and then you can come in and clean the house from top to bottom and make the dinner and then clean up afterwards....and no, you CANNOT go to the pub for a pint."  He wasn't even allowed to come in for a cup of tea and a rest. 

We saw poor old Dave heading back to the house after his day of doinking the fenceposts, his arms had stretched and were down to his knees and his head was down, knowing that he was due for another verbal battering as soon as he got in. 

When we got up this morning, Dave was doinking the posts again.  He must be in more trouble.  If he's not careful, she'll be doinking his head with the fencepost doinker.

Have a doinking good weekend, mes amis!

On Making it Through the Rain

Well, we made it throught the rain and have had our first hot and sunny weekend for...I don't know how long.  Roberto is in cave man mode and is polishing up the barbie as we speak, ready to do his Jamie Oliver spare ribs.  Also, now that the sun is shining, Roberto is starting to do my head in again about his solar power.  Don't get me wrong, I love that we have free hot water but honestly, I don't need to know about the inner workings of the solar roof panels.  Just too much information.  I am feeling a big glazed already. 

Our neighbours asked the other day if they could put up a swing on a bit of our land, which is adjacent to their garden, for their little boy who is three years old.  We told them that would be okay but I've just looked over and there's now a bouncy castle, a tent and a bunch of kids running around squawking.  Is it just me, or do you think that's a bit cheeky of them?  Folks eh?  Give 'em an inch....

...and the good news is, it's St Swithin's day....and the sun is shining - Yippeeee!!

So we are just having a nice quiet Sunday.  Hope yours is good too. 

Squawk soon, mes amis.