On Seeing Builders' Pants.

I am getting a little bit fed up with seeing builders' pants.  The other day when Big Mike, the plasterer, and his son Mini-Big-Mike were here, Mini-Big-Mike's job was to mix up the plaster in the back garden which is directly outside my kitchen window.  He had his back to me and was bending over the plaster bucket with his huge electric whisk and I couldn't help but notice that half his pants were showing - brightly coloured ones; red, blue and yellow.  God, what a sight!  I tried not to look again for the next few days but it was a sight to behold, this huge backside of an 18 year old giant...and the pants were always the same.  Three days running, same pants.  I tried to persuade myself that he had three pairs the same, and they were clean on each day, but a little voice in my head said "You're having a larf, aren't you.  He probably wears the same pair  inside out and back to front on alternate days"    Am foreseeing another sleepless night!

We think that Roy the builder has an invisible friend.  I heard him on the roof today. At first he was singing "That's why the Lady is a Tramp", Gaga-style and the I heard him talking.  The conversation went like this:-

"How would you do it then?"

"No, that's not right"
"Okay, I'll do it like that"

"Where's the hammer?"

A few sweary words, then "Oh, I see what you mean now".  

I could have sworn he was having a conversation with someone but when I looked out,  Roy was completely alone on the rooftop. 

Things are looking up.  It's the electricians' last day today.  They are brothers.  One is called Jimmy, and we call the other one Scooby (because he talks just like Scooby Doo and nobody can understand him).  Anyway, they were working late to get the work finished and I asked them if they fancied a bacon sandwich.  "That would be very nice", Said Jimmy.  "Woooby wooooby dooooo!", Said Scooby.  After they had their Scooby snack, Scooby said to me "That was the nicest bacon sandwich I have ever had" (in Scooby Doo language, of course).  That was nice of him, wasn't it?

Big clean up tonight, ready for the carpets arriving tomorrow. 

Is it wine o'clock yet?

Doncha Just Love Having Building Work Done? Doncha?....Doncha?

As I came downstairs this morning, music was blaring from the radio as usual as work was beginning for another day. I heard the dulcet tones of our diminutive builder, Roy and big Mike, the plasterer, who is built like a rugby player, singing a duet at the top of their voices, "Don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like me, doncha...doncha?" It was far too early for my mind to be boggling. I shut the kitchen door and put the kettle on.

Things are beginning to take shape in our new extension. Mike, the big plasterer, has finished in the living room and has started upstairs in the bedroom and new dressing room/walk-in wardrobe (Note to self: need more clothes to fill the new walk-in wardrobe. Nature abhors a vacuum). We just need Bob the Plumber to return and connect pipes, or whatever it is that plumbers do, to the wood burning stove and solar panel, as well as putting boiler back and return our central heating. Where the hell is Bob?

Roy, the builder, is always larking around. He is like a 10 year old boy in a 50 year old body. Anyway, he found an old pair of wellie boots and stuck them into a pile of gravel to make it look as if someone was buried under the gravel....at least, I think it was Roy. Still no sign of Bob, the plumber!

Could this be Bob the Plumber?

We ordered our carpets last weekend. I was just browsing around the carpet shop to start with and found a carpet that I really liked but there was no price on it. I went over to the counter to ask Tony (his name was printed on his polo shirt, in case you were wondering). Tony very kindly told me the price and then proceeded to inform me that Sarah Beeney had bought that very same carpet for her "Renovation Disaster" property, and then he said, "If it’s good enough for Sarah Beeney.....". I felt slightly insulted but the carpets we chose turned out to be much nicer than Sarah Beeney’s, so stick that in yer pipe Tony!

Roy just informed me that he’s going to his fishing club Annual General Meeting tonight. Apparently they have one every week.