Mine's Bigger Than Yours!

Well, there they were on Sunday, sitting round our kitchen table discussing their big sports cars.  Roy the builder and Bob the plumber had called in to have a look at Roberto's new old sporty Jaguar.  They all have convertible sports cars (it's an age thing, you know!) and they were sitting round our table discussing the best points of their own cars, all talking over each other.  It was just like "mine's bigger than yours" in the school playground.  I said above that they were discussing their big sports cars but Roy's is only the size of Stuart Little's - same colour as well.  He also has a Stuart Little boat for fishing but that's another story.

Bob has Jaguar envy now.  He has a lovely old Alpha Romeo sports car which he loves but when he saw Roberto's new one, he said "did you see my face, Roberto...did you see my face when I saw your Jag?" Let me tell you mes amis, he was drooling over Roberto's eff-off blue Jag. Boys and their toys eh?



Last night we were watching TV.  The windows and curtains were closed.  Well, I heard this shrieking noise outside and thought that someone was being attacked.  Looked out of the living room window and it was that bloody woman with the deaf dalmations (see previous post).  That's how loud she is, like a bloody fishwife on Hull docks, when we still had a fishing industry, that is.  I much prefered it when we had the little elderly couple with the sausage dog next door.  Nice quiet neighbours, dog with good hearing. 

Squawk soon. 

Roberto's Eff Off Blue Jaguar

Well, mes amis, today we went over the Humber Bridge to Lincolnshire to collect Roberto's new car.  It's not brand new, it's a 1996 Jaguar XK8 and he describes the colour as Eff Off Blue (very good description, actually). 

I had to drive our car home and Roberto had told me to take the first turn off after the petrol station at the roundabout.  Well, he had gone into the petrol station with his new toy to get some juice and the turn off he had mentioned didn't have any signposts for the Humber Bridge so off I went round the roundabout again until I realised that I was right the first time around, even though there were no signposts. So far so good.  I arrive at the Humber Bridge toll booth...I can't reach the man in the booth to give him my money - eeek!! Had to get out of the car and felt like such a lemon.  I hadn't seen any sign of Roberto since he stopped off at the petrol station and I was a bit worried that the new (old) car might have broken down.  Well, I was just toddling along the A63/M62 and this blue flash of lightening (an eff off blue kind of colour) went whooshing past me and arrived home a good ten minutes before I did. 

Roberto is so happy with his new toy.  He has been outside since lunchtime polishing it up and admiring it, revving up the engine etc etc...you know, like you boys do?

So, I have revealed his little secret that he didn't want anyone to know about yet.  He reads these posts and says "what are you writing that for?"  I say to him "Roberto, you don't seriously think that people who read this think that we are real people do you?"

Have a good weekend mes amis.