You are not going to believe this, chers amis. You are just not going to Adam & Eve it. Our local Parish Council along with the Ambulance Service have, in their wisdom, decided it would be a good idea to install a defibrillator in our local Inconvenience Store. I had to laugh because it said on the notice we received that no training would be necessary. I'm sorry, I don't usually swear (not much anyway!) but for fluff sake, what is that all about?
Imagine the scene. The dead eyed students are behind the till, someone faints in the shop. Dead eyed student slightly wakes up, heads for the new defibrillator, grabs the paddles and zaps the poor old dear who has passed out on the floor, not knowing that she has a pacemaker installed. Result = one dead old lady on the floor of local shop and one stupid kid, who is still in the Xbox zone, taking a selfie beside poor old dead lady with his iphone.
Scenario 2: Mrs Sourpuss, who sucks lemons all day, steps over old lady and walks to staffroom to have her tea break. She'll switch the defibrillator on when she gets back because, quite frankly, she can't be a**ed and it's not exactly in her job description.
Scenario 3: Gladys, good old Gladys, dead slow and stop Gladys, sees the old lady fainting and shuffles over at a leisurely pace (no rush is there?). "Hello lovey, can you hear me?" she says "Are you all right lovey?" Gladys shuffles off to get help and doesn't return.
Scenario 4: Someone passes out on floor when the local village Numpty-Do-Gooder-Busybody just happens to be in the shop. "Wait, just a minute. Clear some space everybody. I know what I'm doing here," he says, taking over. He's been watching a bit of Casualty and he knows what to do. He grabs the paddles and shouts "stand clear" and just as he's placing the paddles on the person's chest, he/she wakes up but it's too late and said person has just been launched to the other side of the shop.
I don't know what the Ambulance Service/Parish Council are thinking of. Personally, I think it is complete madness to let the general public loose with a defibrillator, and although they would be talked through any possible scenario by the Ambulance Service, how does anyone know it's their heart that is the problem? Is it just me?
Scenario 4: Someone passes out on floor when the local village Numpty-Do-Gooder-Busybody just happens to be in the shop. "Wait, just a minute. Clear some space everybody. I know what I'm doing here," he says, taking over. He's been watching a bit of Casualty and he knows what to do. He grabs the paddles and shouts "stand clear" and just as he's placing the paddles on the person's chest, he/she wakes up but it's too late and said person has just been launched to the other side of the shop.
I don't know what the Ambulance Service/Parish Council are thinking of. Personally, I think it is complete madness to let the general public loose with a defibrillator, and although they would be talked through any possible scenario by the Ambulance Service, how does anyone know it's their heart that is the problem? Is it just me?
