Alis Grave Nil

Tuesday, 21 January 2014

To Hoard or not to Hoard? That is the Question.

Chez Printemps, we have a hoarding problem in the name of Roberto, my hoarding husband.  He just will not throw anything out.  Take, for example, his wardrobe.  It is completely stuffed to the gunnels.  He has far more clothes than I do.  On closer inspection you will find piles of 1980s shirts which he says he still loves and will fit into when he has been on a diet.  I even found a knitted Starsky jacket (remember Starsky & Hutch?) that his mother, the late great Beatrice Printemps, knitted for him in the late '70s.  Actually, I quite like the Starsky jacket and have been wearing it myself on cold days. 

I know it's nice to keep certain things because they hold happy memories and I'm not a totally heartless de-clutter queen but honestly, the stuff Roberto keeps! In a shed we have that used to be my sewing room, there are boxes and bags of the late great Beatrice Printemps'  things.  Just ordinary things like boxes of blankets, sheets (multi-coloured flowery '70s sheets, that is), kitchen stuff.  Roberto just won't part with it.  He says it will all come in useful some day.  I think, 'yes, useful for someone else.'  I admit, and I'll give him that, I did find her old hairdryer in there when mine broke the other week and yes, I grudgingly admit that it has come in handy...but what the fluff can you do nowadays with a mink coat?

There is a '70s flowery lampshade that the late Beatrice tried to offload onto me on numerous occasions because she couldn't bear to throw it out.  Margot Leadbetter from the Good Life would have been proud to own it

So, I have decided mes amis that, starting with the offensive '70s lamp (see photo below), Operation De-clutter will commence in 10...9...8..

Happy de-cluttering/hoarding! A la prochaine.

Sunday, 12 January 2014

On TV Adverts

Settled down to watch TV one evening, cup of tea and shortbread biscuit at the ready.  An advert came on for one of those Ped-Egg machine thingies that seems to suck up all the dry skin on your feet.  I was just taking the first bite of my shortbread when the person who was using the Ped-Egg seemed to be hoovering up a huge (and I mean HUGE) piece of skin off her foot. It looked utterly disgusting.  Needless to say, shortbread biscuit was not so appealing after seeing that.
...and another thing.  Sorry mes amis have got charity fatigue again.  Charity adverts seem to be playing non-stop at the moment.  I do understand that they have to get donations but apart from anything else, the actual airtime must cost around £100,000 each time the advert is on TV. The particular advert that has caught my attention is the one for Water Aid in Africa somewhere.  You see a young baby sitting in a puddle and putting his cup into it and drinking the water, while the narrator is saying something like "John has to drink contaminated water every day, even though it could kill him".  If that baby really is sitting there drinking contaminated water and they are sitting watching and filming him doing it....WHY AREN'T THEY STOPPING HIM?????  Is it me? 
As for the DFS sale that was supposed to end on 5th January's on AGAIN!  It never ends.  There is also an advert for Harvey's furniture which annoys me greatly.  It is stressing the fact that you can get all the furniture for your home on credit over 4 years, encouraging young people (it's always young people in the ads) to get into debt. 
Have you heard about Wonga advertising loans on children's TV channels?  People are now complaining that their kids are telling them to get a Wonga loan to buy the latest Xbox, or whatever.  Effing unbelievable, n'est-ce-pas?

Right, rant over.  Squeak soon.

 BREAKING NEWS.....BREAKING NEWS.....Roy and Agnes have got engaged.  They are both still married to previous partners, but hey ho!

Wednesday, 1 January 2014

Michael Buble Overload

Well, I never thought I'd say this but I think I've overdone it with Michael Buble.  As much as I adore him, I've had enough of his Christmas CD.  In fact I'm just about Bubled out. He's been singing non-stop since 1st December so I've packed him away in the CD cabinet for another year. 

I could have sworn I had three boxes of mince pies in my cupboard that I hid in case of unexpected visitors during the festive season, but when I looked the other day, there was just an empty space where the mince pies used to be. There must be a big (huge) mouse in my house.

I'm not sure if I've told you about our ducks We have two "rescue" ducks of our own that a friend of ours brought to our pond - a black one and a white one (please don't ask me what brand they are as I haven't got a Scooby Doo).  Some numpty had them at the back of a terraced house and wasn't treating them properly and they were a bit scrawny and straggly when they arrived chez nous.  I fed them every day with special duckling food and chatted to them and although they were quite scared and shy to start with, after a week they came running towards me, squawking and squeaking, when I came to feed them.  I'm happy to say they are now fatter and happier and are are now playing nicely with the wild ducks on our pond. My Auntie Violet always asks about them and on Christmas Day she asked me if I had fed them anything special for Christmas.  I wondered if she meant stuffing balls and tiny sausages. 

"Eh...just some extra bread, Auntie Violet". 

"Oh, is that all?" she said.  "I thought you would have given them a wee treat." 

What the fluff do you give a duck for a "wee treat"? 

Bonne Annee 2014!