Alis Grave Nil

Wednesday, 23 November 2011

On Seeing Builders' Pants.

I am getting a little bit fed up with seeing builders' pants.  The other day when Big Mike, the plasterer, and his son Mini-Big-Mike were here, Mini-Big-Mike's job was to mix up the plaster in the back garden which is directly outside my kitchen window.  He had his back to me and was bending over the plaster bucket with his huge electric whisk and I couldn't help but notice that half his pants were showing - brightly coloured ones; red, blue and yellow.  God, what a sight!  I tried not to look again for the next few days but it was a sight to behold, this huge backside of an 18 year old giant...and the pants were always the same.  Three days running, same pants.  I tried to persuade myself that he had three pairs the same, and they were clean on each day, but a little voice in my head said "You're having a larf, aren't you.  He probably wears the same pair  inside out and back to front on alternate days"    Am foreseeing another sleepless night!

We think that Roy the builder has an invisible friend.  I heard him on the roof today. At first he was singing "That's why the Lady is a Tramp", Gaga-style and the I heard him talking.  The conversation went like this:-

"How would you do it then?"
"No, that's not right"
"Okay, I'll do it like that"
"Where's the hammer?"
A few sweary words, then "Oh, I see what you mean now".  
I could have sworn he was having a conversation with someone but when I looked out,  Roy was completely alone on the rooftop. 

Things are looking up.  It's the electricians' last day today.  They are brothers.  One is called Jimmy, and we call the other one Scooby (because he talks just like Scooby Doo and nobody can understand him).  Anyway, they were working late to get the work finished and I asked them if they fancied a bacon sandwich.  "That would be very nice", Said Jimmy.  "Woooby wooooby dooooo!", Said Scooby.  After they had their Scooby snack, Scooby said to me "That was the nicest bacon sandwich I have ever had" (in Scooby Doo language, of course).  That was nice of him, wasn't it?

Big clean up tonight, ready for the carpets arriving tomorrow. 

Is it wine o'clock yet?

1 comment:

  1. Think yourself lucky he was wearing pants. The view from behind most builders can be mistaken for somewhere to park your bike. OOooooooooo.