Alis Grave Nil

Monday, 28 November 2011

Three Bandidos Came to Fit my Carpets

At last, our carpets arrived.  The carpet fitter's van pulled into chez Printemps on Friday afternoon.  Three carpet fitters jumped out of the van, looking like three Mexican bandidos.  These shifty looking men entered my house, their eyes like sewer rats, scanning around as if they were casing the joint.  The boss man, Gerry, was small and skinny with a weasely moustache.  He started complaining as soon as he came in..."There's no grippers for your carpets.  Why are there no grippers?"  He looked at us as if we had committed a ghastly crime.  I explained that Tony from the carpet shop hadn't mentioned carpet grippers when we bought the carpets (he was probably too busy day-dreaming about a big sale from Sarah Beeney!).  "I'll see what I've got in my van", he said, muttering under his breath as he went. "Miserable old goat", I thought to myself.  Anyway, I made them a cup of tea, with extra sugar to keep them sweet and they got off to work.  NB: if I had £1 for every cup of tea I've made since our building work started, I would be writing this blog from my luxury cabin on a cruise liner somewhere in the Caribbean (savez?).  Living room and bedroom carpets are now fitted and looking gorgeous. 

Roberto started wallpapering our bedroom on Saturday.  The door was closed as he was working away and all I could hear was swearing and shouting coming from the room.  I told him to think more positive thoughts as he was doing it, but my advice fell on deaf ears (actually, more swearing was involved).  The Italian wallpaper was extra wide and very thick and the edges kept coming away from the wall.  I eventually had to go in and help by putting more paste down the sides of the paper with an artist's paintbrush.  Four hours later and I was swearing just as much as Roberto. "What was that you said about positive thinking?", asked Roberto.  I threw my paste covered paintbrush at his head. Another big job finished, but I feel as if I will be painting until the middle of next year.  So much more to do. 

Please don't get me started on the subject of solar panels.  One electrician and a plumber later,and Roberto would have been as well doing it himself!  Jimmy the spark and Bob the plumber completely screwed it all up.  Roberto phoned the solar company and the lovely man told him what to do, i.e. undo all the other work that had been done by the other two numpties. We just need some sunshine now and we will have free hot water from now on.  Result!

Now, what about that cruise, Roberto?

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