Alis Grave Nil

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

The Builders and the Full Moon

I don't know if you've noticed before but on the run up to a full moon, there is usually a bit of chaos or strange happenings in everyone's lives.  With me, I usually meet strange people who are badly affected by the full moon and only come out on a full moon week.  I seem to attract them.

My husband, Roberto, and Roy the builder and others are still working on the same barn conversion.  Their full moon week has gone a little bit like this:-


Big Shaz, the barn owner upsets Roy by saying he's not happy with the way the building job is going.  It's just not quick enough. 

Roy phones Roberto and is whinging down the phone, while glugging a bottle of red wine, for an hour on Monday evening, and is very upset.


Big Shaz tells Roberto that Roy is very upset with him.  Roberto then sees them shaking hands - they've kissed and made up. It's now back to being best of friends again. 

Big Shaz then proceeds to upset the neighbour, Mrs Tesco Advert Man, who has just been to the station to collect Mr Tesco Advert Man and came home to find some of her drive had been dug up for Big Shaz's water pipes.  Raised voices are heard.  Big Shaz comes back into the barn. 

Tesco Advert Man follows him into the barn - sunglasses on, trendy bomber jacket and stomach hanging out, saying "You've just insulted my wife."  Big Shaz goes to apologise, comes back cursing. 

Plasterer is then heard cursing the plumber for not sorting out the pipes properly so he can plaster.  Then he is cursing the electrician for not sorting out his wires properly and proceeds to plaster over them. 


Roberto asks Big Shaz (he big doctor) to look at his leg because his knee is swollen.  Big Shaz says he needs a scan.  Roberto says "Fluff off, you only know about stomachs anyway."

The plasterer's young assistant, on seeing Mr and Mrs Tesco Advert drive past in their big car:

"Chuffin' hell, that bloke looks just like the bloke on The Full Monty."

Plasterer: "It is him, you muppet!"

Don't worry, mes amis, it will all be over after Thursday's full moon, with any luck.

A bientot.

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